Feeling productive after years

After years of not being able to focus on what I love the most, I finally have the feeling of being in control again. It's a great feeling.

What happened?

I feel like I lost track of my goals, got distracted by mundane things, and I didn't knew what to do with my time. I was trying to cope with stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues, which in the end got me losing the passion I had for my work.

Day after day, I was trying to survive, and not really living. Each day felt like a struggle, and I was trying to get through it. They call it burnout, but I felt like this was more than just that. It was so hard to live a day. Doing things that were so simple to do became the biggest challenge of my life. It was a mountain to climb, the biggest mountain I had ever climbed (I have never climbed a mountain before).

I was so tired, and I felt so alone. I was so lost.

For whom do I do this?

My family. They're everything to me. My daughter, my son, my wife. They are the reason I wake up every day, and the reason I go to sleep every night. They are the reason I push myself to be better and the reason I push myself to be the best I can be. They helped me find the path to recovery, and they are the reason I'm here today. They helped me get out of the dark hole I was in. They helped me realize the situation I was in.

I also had to have the intention to change my life. Help me get out of that dark hole. I had to be willing to change my life. I couldn't play it as a victim anymore. I had to be willing to take responsibility for my own actions.

What really matters?

Family. Health. Happiness. I was surrounded by people who didn't understand me, who didn't understand my goals, who didn't understand my dreams, but at the end of the day, it was my family that supported me, the health that kept me going, and my happiness that made me feel like I was alive. Special mention to medication too, it was a lifesaver definitely (I'm not saying it's a magic pill, but it helped me a lot).

Transparency

Why would I post this on the internet? It can be a bullet in the foot, but I want to help others who are in the same situation. I want whoever reads this to know that they're not alone. I want them to know that they can also get out of the situation. You need to reach out for help. You need to talk to someone. It's not easy at all, and maybe you're thinking why would you do that, but it's the first step, and there is always someone who can help you. If you don't have anyone to reach out to, please don't hesitate to talk to me. I'm here to help.

I also want to be transparent because this way I can cope with the shame of being so vulnerable. It's ok to be vulnerable; we're humans after all.